It’s happening slowly, beginning to think less of you. The desire to be with you is less urgent now, although I cannot fully let it go just yet. I’m able to bargain with that part of me that still yearns for you by imagining that this slowdown will contribute to our getting together at last. (Again I find myself divided). I’ve even gone as far as to convince that part of myself that as you are now, as we are now, we are miles and miles away from the fantasy of sitting close together, completely comfortable with each other, lost in each other’s love.

Maybe this is how you work. Maybe you don’t think of me at all. I’m sure you occupy my thoughts much more than I make appearances in yours. Or else why would you be so distant – how could you stand not being with me? Nevertheless, there’s nothing I can do about that.

I cannot bring myself to un-like you without bitterness. But I cannot keep on overlooking your shortcomings without yielding a little to this infatuation. Apathy is less than you deserve for sure. I feel something for you, and as of yet I cannot define it.

Is it right for me to base my love only on how you will love me? I do not know.

I want to leave this place. Ideally I’d like to walk away with you. But unless you take my hand and lead the way, in time, I might just pick up and go a different path.