When I held your near lifeless body in my arms, I wanted you to feel my love before leaving this world. I love you so so so much. 

Why this, now, in a time of failing spirit?

I am feeling lost and alone and purposeless. What do I do anything for? What do I live for? I am calling out to God, to make me strong, to keep me from falling off, but sometimes even my prayers seem empty. I have no view of tomorrow, leaving me a deep sense of forboding. I can’t seem to find it in my heart to care what is next in my life. The things I love are fading away and with them meaning too.